Well, this is it: you’ve both worked your way into a status which exceeds that of a casual acquaintance, and are ready to try your compatibility by going on your first date. For most people this can be a nerve-wracking experience, since there have been established expectations prior to the date which may result in an affirmation or a letdown on the first face-to-face encounter. This is also the first opportunity for the couple to really get to know each other apart from casual and fleeting conversation. First dates are understandably awkward for both people who are practically friends at most, and keeping a certain mindset in place, along with planning, can ensure that the first meeting will end up as a success.
Since this is a first date, where first impressions count for much, you need to pick a discreet location for it. Remind yourself that the purpose of the meeting is for acquainting with each other, not necessarily on finding a romantic connection. In this sense a lunch date is appropriate, as it is associated more with friendship than with romance. With this arrangement you’ll have the opportunity to tank the date early on in case things don’t work as planned, and if it does, you’ll have the rest of the day and the evening to spend in each other’s company. Meeting on a casual place, one with no romantic connotations to it, relieves the pressure on both of you to make the date work out the way you both feel they’re supposed to.
Next, you’ll need to refocus attention away from yourself and into your date. Self-consciousness is the usual culprit in the dating jitters, when the person tends to think too much about the self more than the date. Persistent thoughts such as “How do I meet his/her expectations,” or “My! She looks lovely, can I keep up with that even if this date pulls through?” normally bug every person on the first date, but if you let these consume you, you’re setting the date up for an uncomfortable, or worse, abrupt ending. Paying intense attention to your date rather than on yourself, his or her gestures, thoughts, and nuances in movements or facial expression, not only takes a lot of load off of your back, you’ll actually get to know the other person better, which is the aim of the meeting in the first place.
Conversation is the key to a successful date. Usually dates go bust either because of the uncomfortable lack or abundance of it. But you won’t be faced with this problem as long as you prepare yourself for such situations. This may be a cliché, but nonchalant topics such as the weather, last night’s sitcom season finale, the other person’s hobbies and interests, and the traffic which you came upon on the way to the date, are perfect icebreakers which are great at keeping the ball rolling towards more meaningful conversation. Have a couple of template topics on hand, and improvise upon them while gearing the discussion towards your common traits and interests, and the conversation will flow smoothly and segue seamlessly to more intimate conversation. If you find yourself tongue-tied along the way, take a deep breath, and remind yourself that as long as you remain true, the date will sail along smoothly. If you feel that you are not getting into the meat of your purpose as quickly as expected (that is, knowing if you are compatible with the other person), remember that it takes two people to make it work; this is a date, not a therapy session where you lay all cards on the table, regardless of the consequences.
Approach the date with an open mind, an optimistic attitude, and lowered expectations. Don’t pressure yourself in making it work, you’ll end up doing the exact opposite. Keep your focus on the other person, and how much he or she complements you as a person, and you’ll be in good terms with your date, even if the meeting doesn’t end up establishing the romantic link you were going for.